I hated Maths, but that turned out to be the lesser of my bugbears. One of my biggest battles was Art. 'Surely not', I hear you cry! An ADHDer with no creative flair? Well, this was not the case. My creative flair was abundant. This wasn't the problem. The problem was, that during the course of this subject my creativity was stifled by what the institution expected me to achieve in terms of course work.
It went something like this...to achieve your final piece of artwork- whether it be a pencil drawing of a bowl of fruit, a poster for an advertising campaign or a pastel piece to express an emotion; you were expected to hand in your 'preparatory' pieces. You were required to demonstrate how you came to create your final masterpiece. It was expected that you should hand in a pile of papers which showed your doodles and whims, your experimentation with mediums and techniques; the general build up which led to the grand finale.
The teenager with ADHD does not want to creatively potter around, chopping and changing between ideas while she contemplates her final piece. The teenager with ADHD spends most of her time with her brain doing that as part of everyday life while she tries in vain to separate her chaotic thoughts. The teenager with ADHD would like to simply get her ideas straight onto the paper (or other medium) and see what happens. The teenager with ADHD would simply like to get her work done- often a great feat- without having to faff about in between with trivial things that may well end up stifling the creative splurge.
The process that we were expected to undertake was nothing more than a hindrance to what may have turned out to be a spectacular work of the hyperfocussed mind.
As a result, I worked in reverse. I created my final pieces, and then, if my brain would allow, I would throw together some pretend 'drafts' and scribbles. Often though, I resented churning out these fruitless side lines. Therefore I didn't bother.
I got a C grade in GCSE because of my missing bits. I'm no brilliant artistic talent, but I know for a fact that I could have achieved an A grade had I not been subjected to what I perceived to be an idiotic process. It may not be idiotic to regular brained folk. I can well imagine that the experimental process can be hugely advantageous to those who need to work up to the perfection of their final piece. But not to me. What transferred itself from my brain to my piece of paper was often a brilliance in its own right (as far as I was concerned) and did not need to be broken down clinically. The whole process of creating your piece of work in this case was utterly paradoxical.
That said, I let myself down big time. One of life's great ongoing occasions that I simply could not rise to.
I don't know whether this is still the form that art students are expected to adhere to. A good friend of mine is a secondary art teacher, so I intend to find out.
And because she is a good friend of mine and in many ways, a kindred spirit; I know that she'll procrastinate upon and ultimately understand this particular little struggle of mine.
